Archive for Perspectives
May you "ring in the season" all year long.
At the end of 2009 I wrote a post about My Wishes . I was thinking about it today and my curiosity drove me to find that blog post.
What was fascinating to me is that the song I referenced in the blog, “If Every Day Could be Christmas” is still just as impactful to me, but no longer just to me, to my daughters too. When playing holiday music earlier this week one of my daughters commented on how much she liked that song.
I was also struck by the fact that I still don’t like the concept of New Years Resolutions. They often seem to focus on things that we need to “fix.” I’d rather focus on improving or enhancing, maybe just simply accepting. Why can’t we already be “good enough!”
Last but certainly not least, I still sincerely mean every single one of my wishes. So here it is again, My Wishes now My Wishes for You and Yours.
May you find…
- Moments of Joy during times of Sorrow.
- The strength of Patience in the midst of a Crisis.
- A sense of Peace in the midst of Chaos.
May you see…
- The spark of life in every living thing.
- A silver lining in every stormy cloud.
- A reason to be happy and laugh each and every day.
May you feel…
- A sense of purpose in your life.
- Compassion for those less fortunate than you.
- Love for yourself and from others.
It is my hope and wish for each and every one of you that you find reasons to live joyfully, have many people to love, and share many moments of laughter with others.
My wish and hope is that in 2012 you will come celebrate life with me.
- Make wishes not resolutions.
- Live, love, and laugh out loud. ALOT!
If you can’t some days that’s ok too! Just remember that each day is a new day – you can always start over.
When you need to, get back in bed and get out of the other side. Not just metaphorically, but physically. See if it doesn’t help you change your outlook for the day. You might just start with a laugh. If it’s with me or at me and my ideas, that’s ok.
Laughter, whatever the trigger, will help recalibrate your day. Smiles, Laughter, and Joy are contagious.
It’s my wish that you both find some for yourself and to share it with others (me included). May you find a way for Every Day to be Christmas and for My Wishes to come true.
My best to ALL of you. May you find peace, joy, love and happiness now and forevermore.
Change can happen faster than we think when you connect an inspiring message with a strong medium and engage the heart.
By minute six of this ten minute TEDXSF video I had tears running down my face. Both my mind and heart were engaged and I made some decisions about things to do differently both today and in the future.
This video captures the heart and imagination through the words of a child, time lapse photography (by Louie Schwartzberg), and very powerful words spoken by Benedictine monk David Steindl-Rast.
May you find 10 minutes in your busy schedule today to watch this video. May it help you find inspiration, gain a new view of the world, and a sense of gratitude for all we have.
Click here to watch it.
My change? To view the world a bit differently today. To seek ways to continue to capture the sense of thoughtfulness and wonder I feel for the world round me. My on-going action, to revisit this video when I feel the need for a bit of inspiration and help to “stop and smell the roses.”
Need to go with the flow? Nurture yourself with a little Nature.
Do you feel the onset of burnout coming? Do you want to refresh and renew yourself? Feel like you need a vacation but don’t have the time and money for one? Think small, not big.
Often we are moving so fast we don’t realize how much time we are spending inside buildings. Our minds and bodies need to periodically visit the world outdoors.
Connecting with nature – simply letting the sun shine on your face, listening to the birds, listening to the flow of water through a stream, dam or waterfall can be wonderfully refreshing.
Even small things like packing a lunch and sitting on a park bench rather than inside a restaurant can be a boost to both your body and your mind.
Yes, a trip to the spa might be fun, but you can often get the same sense of peace and restfulness from a park. Plus, it costs a lot less!
My challenge to you is to find those small pockets of time in your schedule to take yourself outdoors. It can be something as simple as stopping at a park for just 15 minutes on your way home. Do you have a deck or patio? If so, when is the last time you had dinner outside? Try it, you just might like it.
Have a story to share about how you’ve found little pockets of time to let Nature provide a little Nurture for your mind, heart, and spirit? Click that comment button to share. Love to hear from you!
Is this a failure or a success?
First a shout out of Thanks to Jim Estill and John Wolforth for taking the time to hit the Comment button and share their thoughts on What Might Happen? I Wonder… last month. This pondering continues on with ideas shared in that last post. You can either blame it on John or thank him if you choose – this pondering a result of responding to his comment. It got me thinking about what success looks like.
I believe that success can be a tricky thing. It’s a moving target and always subject to interpretation. I’ve also observed that some of the individuals who I think are wildly successful don’t always feel so successful themselves.
I wonder how often we find ourselves measuring up short - but that is truly only in our own minds. That we focus on the missteps and the could haves, rather than the did haves and wasn’t that great!
Let’s go to my favorite source, yes Wikipedia, for a definition. “Success might mean, but is not limited to:
- a level of social status
- achievement of an objective/goal
- the opposite of failure“
Now let’s look at their definition of failure. “Failure refers to the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success.”
Hum, if we really think about it, we are in control here. We define the level of social status, the objective/goal, as well as what failure looks like. Pretty powerful.
It’s also important to remember that we all define success differently. What does matters isn’t my defintion, but how you personally define success.
Sometimes I think we fall in the trap of focusing on the big SUCCESS and we need to focus more on the little successes that we have all the time. Or that we get ourselves hung up on how others define success and trying to meet their measure of success rather than our own.
I bet if we thought about it hard enough we could find a small success each and every day. I know that this is something that I personally need to do more of – looking for those small, daily successes. We often look at our daily failures, why not look at our daily successes?
For today’s pondering I’d like to ask that you stop and ask yourself the following questions:
- Did I think about a failure today?
- Did I think about a success today?
- What did I think about this last week?
- How do I define success?
- Am I focusing on big SUCCESS?
- What success(es) did I have today?
- What success(es) did I have this last week?
- How might I feel differently if every time I thought of a failure, I stop to also think of a success?
You are the only one that can define success for yourself. You are in the driver’s seat. Sometimes success might be about walking away from an opportunity. Jonathan Field’s recent article Kill It to Build It reminded me of this earlier today. Jonathan had a business idea but decided to “kill it” as it took him off what he viewed as his longer term path.
The comments on his post and reactions were quite interesting. While most were supportive, it was interesting to note the mix of judgmental and non-judgmental. It made me stop to ponder how he felt after reading all the comments. If it made him question himself? I wondered how often we do this to others?
I think of life a both a juggling act and a tightrope walk. We are trying to find that balance between short-term and long-term personal, professional, and family goals. Often at the same time. Additionally we move from one rope to another so maybe we should add in that areal act where we have to also have faith to let go of one bar and trust the other will be there to grab onto. No wonder it’s often hard to feel a sense of achievement!
I think that maybe we need to adjust that success measure and realize that it’s not whether you dropped a ball or two, but rather you kept the other three, five, or seven in the air. Not that you fell off the rope, but rather you climbed back up and got moving again. It’s not that you missed catching the other bar, but rather you had the courage to let go of the first one. Each and every one of these is a success.
Remember, you define both success and failure for yourself. It’s something that I too need to remind myself on a regular basis. I’ve found that there is no tougher judge of what I have done than myself. Maybe it’s time to cut myself some slack or better yet, reframe how I measure success. Will you join me?
May you all be happy, healthy, and find success on whatever path you choose to take in life. Remember, the power is yours.
What Might You Find if You Stopped to Look? I see a squirrel in the clouds. Did you even notice their shape or did you focus on the path of the dock?
Do you ever stop and think about what you wrote, what you read, how you acted? If so, do you do so for more than a moment or two?
No, I’m not talking about that self-critiquing that we can get into - the “what if’s”, “if only’s”, “if I hadn’t” analysis where we might beat ourselves up. Many of us (myself included) need to do less of that. Rather, that moment of stepping back from ourselves to look at ourselves and situations from a different viewpoint.
To think about what we want, how we feel, what alternatives are out there? That point where we pause, consider, ponder. That place where we go to say ”I wonder” or “hum, what if” or we play with ideas?
- 7 insights for marketing success
- advice for the needy
- 12 steps to getting attention
- how I succeeded and you can too
- What is on your mind?
- Have you stopped to think and reflect lately?
- Have you stopped to think about what you want in Life?
- What do you really want from your Whole Life, not just your Work Life?
I wonder what you might find out if you did.
I’d like to ask you to stop with me today. To look at yourself from a different viewpoint. To think about what you want and how you feel? To pause, consider, ponder. To ask yourself ”I wonder” or “hum, what if” and played with ideas instead of just taking action.
In closing, I wanted to share something I saved from my friend Jim Estill’s blog. I think he got it from a book on Reflection, but don’t quote me on that…
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“It was said that Thomas Edison would often take his fishing rod, sit at the end of the pier, cast away, and then just sit there for hours. However, he would never put any bait on his hook. He didn’t really want to catch any fish. What he wanted to do was to sit there uninterrupted, just reflecting on the issues of the day, on his work, or on whatever else came into his mind. He knew that if he looked as if he were fishing, no one would bother him, so he could reflect uninterrupted. All he really wanted to do was catch ideas.”
So now I’m wondering…
- How do you define success?
- What do want to do or accomplish in Life?
- What do you get from these ponderings of mine? Do they actual provoke your thinking?
Will you share your thoughts? It doesn’t take much, simply click on the word Comments – down there on the right. Type in that text box and hit that Submit button. I’d love to hear from you.
What's going on in your mind?
I had a very interesting experience with resistance this morning. It reminded me that we should value resistance. Yes, value it.
Within the world of change management, organizational change, organizational development, (the list goes on), resistance is often seen as something negative. Something that you need to manage or overcome.
However, if you step back from the existence of resistance and seek to discover the root cause, you might uncover some very interesting things. I did.
Resistance can be expressed across multiple dimensions. It is something that you might experience on a mental level – through self-discussions. It might be something that you feel emotionally – possibly raising your anxiety level. It might be something expressed at a physical or gut level – perhaps you felt your muscles contract. Your conscious mind is only a minor fraction of the processing that is going on within our bodies. The reactions you feel or sense are typically based on much more than what you are consciously aware of.
The Backstory
If you’ve been reading my writing for a while you may remember me talking about a great group of people that I met through Linked In. People who I met on-line that I feel have moved from the peer/colleague category to the friend category. I wrote about them in my article, Penguin Leadership: Alone in a Crowd.
The group grew organically, without any intention for it to become what it has: a sounding board, a shoulder to lean on, a group of friends to vent with, and a group to push boundaries of thinking with. We’ve never met in person – our locations range from California to Canada to Belgium. Side Note: at this point, there are six of us in the group (Bill Braun has joined us since the article was written).
The Event
This morning a request came to add another person to our group (one might say clique but that can sound negative). I had a very visceral reaction that said “I’m not sure I like that idea.” I stepped back from my computer for a bit but the feeling still hung on. So I shared my reaction – that I wasn’t sure and needed to think about this.
Given that I’m a fairly open and friendly person, my gut reaction startled me. In part, because it was so strong. I even made a joke to the group about whether I was experiencing “change resistance.”
I forced myself to step back and analyze why I was feeling the way I was. What I discovered was that my strong reaction came from the value I placed on my interactions with this group. My fear was that adding a new individual would trigger changes in the style of interactions. Hum, time for me to dig a bit deeper.
Digging Down to the Roots
I realized that in many ways, this group has evolved from a peer group to a support + peer group. Many days this past month I would put that support has been predominant.
I believe that our Penguin Club members “get me”. They get my thinking process. They value my opinions. They seek to not just listen but to hear what I am trying to say. I can be candid, open, honest, direct, and fraught with human frailties in a safe and supportive place. How often can you say that? It’s something not to be undervalued.
I have a high level of trust from the group members. Unfortunately today, trust is a fairly rare commodity. But that’s a story for another day.
In the insanity of life that we live in these days, the value of these types of relationships should not be underestimated. They should be treasured. How many friends and colleagues out there can you say this about?
As this group grew organically, we had no defined objectives or governance structures. We simply threw out questions to the group, sought second opinions, and discussed concepts that interested us. This morning’s experience was a fascinating study (at least to me) in group dynamics. How different the informal evolution can be from the formal structures we often engage in.
During our flurry of emails this morning we are starting to unpack what it is we want and value from this group. It’s not always the same.
Have we made a decision about adding to our Penguin Club, no. Have the emails been flying fast and furious, yes. I actually glad that we are not making the decision lightly.
The Potential Impacts
I do believe that if there was a brand new group member, the nature of what we were shared this morning would be different. I don’t think we would have been as open and honest about thoughts and gut reactions.
Do I think we should avoid adding someone new to keep the status quo? Not necessarily. What I do want to ensure is that we as a group are aware of the potential cost and make an effort to move through the transition in a way that is comfortable for everyone.
I can say that this experience has been an interesting study in Group Dynamics, Social Networking, and Trust. It’s a microcosm of events that happen at work and in social settings each and every day.
The lessons for me today are twofold: TRUST yourself and HONOR your feelings of resistance. You are feeling them for some reason. Stop and ask yourself about the root causes. You might just discover something interesting. I did.
I gained insight into myself, my wants and desires of the group, and the level of trust I was feeling for the individuals in the group. I also learned how very important this group of people was to me. Our interactions and discussion are precious and should be treated as such.
That was the root of my resistance. It had absolutely nothing to do about the potential new person and everything to do with my connection to the existing. It was less about resistance and more about personal value.
In Conclusion…
How might this experience translate into your personal life, your work, your social interactions, or the business environment?
Do you stop and think “why” when you have a negative reaction? Do you explore the roots of your feelings and feelings of resistance? Do you trust your feelings, impressions, and instincts? How do you honor them?
Rather than just believing that resistance is something to be overcome, make the effort to understand its root cause(s). Both within yourself and within others. Honor it; don’t just focus on overcoming it. Value other individual’s emotional and physical reactions as well as your own. They are just as big a part of who the person is as the intellectual ones.
My perception is that we often forget this; that we do not value enough the underlying subconscious processing that our minds and bodies are doing. We need to remember the whole of ourselves, not just the individual parts.
Each part of yourself should be valued; your thoughts, your emotions, your physical reactions, as well as your spiritual needs. When you feel resistance, unpack it a bit. Explore its roots. You just might find out something about yourself you didn’t expect.
In the end, you might also find you make a different choice.
A few weeks back I wrote Are You an Entrepreneur? … or Maybe Not? In that article I mentioned a book soon coming to market by Carol Roth, The Entrepreneur Equation. I’m thrilled to announce that the book has arrived. Not only has it arrived, it arrived in true Carol Roth style.
I met Carol last year at the World Business Forum. She is a savvy female executive, who not only plays in the big leagues, she does it on her own terms and with her own style. If you doubt that, check out those pink shoes! Carol has never shied away from hard facts and uncomfortable realities, especially when it comes to the business world.
Carol’s book can help you answer more than just “Could I be an entrepreneur?” but rather “Should I be an entrepreneur?” We all probably can be if we wanted it bad enough. If we threw enough time, energy, and money at it. However, just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. You can jump off the roof of a house, but should you. It’s your choice.
The Entrepreneur Equation outlines a framework for both new entrepreneurs evaluating whether to start a business as well as current entrepreneurs who are overwhelmed and overworked or even evaluating the future of their business model. It’s unlike other books out there that promise “seven steps to success”. To quote Carol, “those seven step are B.S. - entrepreneurship isn’t one size fits all.”
Success as a business owner is dependent upon your own circumstances, goals and objectives at any given time. What’s a good risk/reward tradeoff for you is entirely different from what’s a good tradeoff for anyone else. Carol’s book gives you a framework to maximize your own personal success, based on your goals and objectives, not someone else’s.
During this week, you can take part in Carol’s Power of Three. So what is The Power of Three (other than a Charmed episode)? Well, for every copy of The Entrepreneur Equation you pre-order through http://theentrepreneurequation.com/special-offers/ by February 18, 2011, you:
1 - Help yourself (or perhaps a client, colleague, friend or family member) stack the odds of success in your or their favor;
2 – Help a small business succeed, as Carol will match your purchase by donating a copy to her non-profit partner SCORE (www.SCORE.org) to give their volunteers another tool to help them grow successful small businesses; and
3 – Help both Carol and myself to achieve our personal goals of spreading this important message and seeing this book succeed.
In addition, if you buy even just one book through the site, you will also receive a free 3-part audio series: Strategies for Getting Your Company, Your Product or Yourself on TV & Other Free Press with Emmy award winners, TV anchors and PR veterans, as well as Carol’s own insights on how she landed her tv pilot deal and other press.
Check out Carol’s other offers, which includes an amazing contest where other entrepreneurs have offered generous prizes, such as Michael Port (private mentoring session at his house worth $1999), Les McKeown (a seat in his Predictable Success workshop worth $3500), a strategy session with the amazing Liz Strauss, a mega-star membership to Online Videopolis (worth $2364), and many, many more. Visit http://theentrepreneurequation.com/special-offers/ for details and to purchase.
Want to know more? Here’s a few of the examples of those “right questions” in the book :
- Are you going to create a “salable” business, rather than a “jobbie” or a “Job-Business”
- There’s a great chart in the book that breaks this down.
- How are you with your personal finances?
- If you can’t manage your own finances, then “you shouldn’t be an entrepreneur trying to manage a business (and implicitly, the business’s finances)“.
- Are you willing to put in a LOT of hard work and practice?
- The “Secret” of success is not just a great idea, a positive attitude, and venture funding.
- Are you a “Santa or an Elf”?
- Are you better at giving direction, or taking direction? If you are the latter, it will be very, very hard to run a business on your own.
- Are you “too smart for your own good”?
- Do you have problems giving up control over anything because “nobody can do it better than you”? Carol has quite an interesting take on this one.
I highly recommend this book to anyone even remotely thinking about starting their own business – it’s a great reality check that covers all the bases. It’s caused me to stop and assess where my own business as well as what my personal goals and objectives really are.
Here’s to Doing Your Own Math (not someone elses) and finding your own answer to The Entrepreneur Equation. Whatever your answer is, it’s the right one for you, rather than for someone else.
Back to that unique Carol Roth style, here’s a link to a story about her Carol Roth doll. It’s fabulous. Here’s a link to win one of the Carol Roth dolls for those who are interested. And yes, I did enter the contest myself.
- Nigel Marsh at TEDxSydney
Work/life balance is a topic that has gotten a fair amount of press in the last decade or so. My observation is that it has been an increasingly difficult thing to achieve with the advent of “social media” and the ease of communication via email. There are so many channels and ways to connect…but are we making the right connections, the important ones?
I found a wonderful 10 minute video by on this topic from TEDxSydney. You can pack a lot in 10 minutes, let me tell you. Nigel Marsh is the author of “Fat, Forty and Fired” and “Overworked and Underlaid.”
As this is a Ponderings & Insights article, I’ve got some questions for you to ponder:
- Do you find it difficult to balance work and life?
- How do you define the balance?
- What do you do to set boundaries?
- What timeframe are you measuring with? A single day, a week, a month or something else?
- Do you have a clear idea of where life ends and work starts?
- How do you define work?
- How do you define life, what do you include? (e.g. is working out really “life”, for me it isn’t)
- What would your ideal day look like?
Here’s an interesting quote from Nigel’s video (click here to see the video):
“There are thousands and thousands of people out there living lives of quiet, screaming desperation who work long, hard hours, at jobs they hate, to enable them to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.”
So here are some of the thoughts and insights I took away:
- Some jobs choices and careers are fundamentally in opposition to balance.
- Many of mine have been.
- Time to do a bit of reassessment…at a deeper level that I already had been.
- There are multiple dimensions that need to be cared for – the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual aspects of each of us.
- While I do know this, I’m asking myself if I am focusing enough on balancing all of them.
- Should I “schedule in” meditation time or is perhaps even needing to schedule it in a sign of a potential issue?
- Small things matter. That there is great value with focused time. Especially with your kids.
I know I’ve reached a critical point with the last one. One of my daughters has twice said this week that I am on the computer too much and has directly asked me to get off. She went on to talk with Dad about computers - that she thinks people use them too much. Not just our family, but everywhere. This wisdom…from a 9 year old.
We tell our children that winning isn’t everything but are we demonstrating that. I wonder? How often are we letting our Ego drive decision making and run the show? It needs to be heads and hearts together – feeding the mind, emotions, and soul in equal proportion.
It’s time for us to have a family meeting and talk about balance. How we want to interact. How we as a family want to define balance. Our definition of success, not the Ego’s definition. It’s time to really ”put the money where the mouth is” as the saying goes. Or perhaps, better stated as choose the option with less money, but more family time.
I don’t know what you thought, but for myself, Nigel’s ideal day doesn’t sound so bad to me. I wonder how many of us wish we had days like that? How life might truly be different if we did? Could we do this? Something to ponder. That, and how am I really going to spend my day today. What boundaries will I set? What activities will I participate in?
Here’s hoping that you find ways to have more special moments, more connected time, and more…
After the World Business Forum 2010 I took advantage of being in New York City and went to see Wicked on Broadway. All I can say is that the current cast is Amazing! While I am enjoying the CD from the original cast, the voices of the current leads are even better. My metaphorical hat and standing ovation to Mandy Gonzalez (Elphaba) and Katie Rose Clarke (Glinda). Both their individual voices as well as the blend was superb. Andy Karl’s (Fiyero) dancing and singing brought a smile to my face.
As I watched the story unfold I was amazed at the number of important messages embedded within the story itself. It almost felt like a life lesson while watching the wonderful cast dance, sing, and entertain. I’ve commited to my children to take them to see it soon. I feel that not only would they enjoy the story but that there are life lessons they can observe. It also gives us a platform for discussing situations and behaviors.
A few of the elements of the story include:
- Being true to yourself and your beliefs
- How people are measured and valued
- Caring for, helping, and supporting others in need
- Social pressures
- Giving everyone a chance – recognizing them for who they are inside and not just outside
- How the labels given to history and the “spin” change how we view things
- The “spin” the Press does and the true power of that spin - to completely mislead and misrepresent
- The value of working together - In one song Glinda and Elphaba sing about “…together we are unlimited…”
During the show I kept thinking over and over about the importance of understanding the “backstory.” The true history of a situation. Not what was fabricated by the press and those in power.
If you’ve seen The Wizard of Oz, you know that the Wicked Witch of the West is the “bad guy.” You know this, absolutely know this for sure.
However, once you understand the backstory, the true history, you learn:
- Elphaba, The Wicked, had a truly generous heart. She was extremely loving and kind.
- The Wizard isn’t actually kind and helpful. He is actually a “bad guy” in many ways, working the system and manipulating others.
- Glinda (formerly known as Galinda) begins the story as very egotistical and grows through her relationship with Elphaba.
- Glinda faces the choices she has made and accepts responsibility for them – changing herself in the process.
- Glinda and Elphaba initally loath each other.
- They evolve into best friends by looking inside, understanding, and valuing each other as individuals.
- Elphaba was painted as Wicked by the Wizard and the Press Secretary for trying to help others and standing up to injustice.
- While Elphaba was persecued for being Being Lionhearted © she never gave up on doing the right thing, no matter the cost. She accepts the “label” of The Wicked in the name of doing good.
So what does this tell us?
- You need to look at the history, the drivers and motivations, not just the current situation.
- You should challenge “labels” given to people and seek to truly understand, not just accept them at face value.
- Look for the person inside, not just the outside they show the world. They might be quite different.
- Understanding the backstory is critical for understanding the truth of any current situation.
The truth is out there. May you Stop, Look, and Listen to find it. For those interested in knowing more about Wicked the Musical, here’s the description from USA Today.
“So much happened before Dorothy dropped in. Long before that girl from Kansas arrives in Munchkinland, two girls meet in the Land of Oz. One – born with emerald green skin – is smart, fiery and misunderstood. The other is beautiful, ambitious and very popular.
How these two grow to become the Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda the Good makes for “the most complete, and completely satisfying, new musical in a long time.”
Pictures from www.gershwintheatre.com
Have we crossed the Ethical Crossroad?
For those of you who have followed me for a while, you know that I made the decision earlier this year to not get involved with the Twitter Craze. For the back story on this, you can read To Tweet or Not to Tweet.
This past week I became part of the Twitter Craze as a result of my involvement in the Bloggers Hub at the World Business Forum 2010. My original plan was to focus on writing articles with minimal tweeting. That certainly didn’t go as planned, not at all.
After getting Tweetdeck that morning, I somehow managed to tweet 170 times. Forty during the first speaker alone – well, it was Jim Collins… The next day 190 tweets. Twitter craze, I have arrived. Eh gads, what happened?
- I found that I was mentally engaged by the speakers. Not just thinking about the words they said but implications.
- I noticed that many tweeters in the Bloggers Hub focused on quoting statements.
- While this is quite useful, I wanted to push the conversation further.
- I wanted those following on the Hub to be challenged – to ask themselves questions.
- While I occasionally did include a quote, I focused on interpretations, observations, thoughts, and questions.
I was feeling a bit more hip, involved in social media in a way I wasn’t before. Yea me.
Then during Jack Welch’s talk, I slammed into a wall. An ethical wall. One I had bumped into the week before but hadn’t realized was so pervasive.
During the interview with Jack Welch, I was startled, yes startled when the interviewer asked if he tweeted for himself. What? People are writing under other people’s names? That doesn’t seem right to me.
Here’s the tweet I immediately sent out to the Hub:
- “I struggle with even asking if someone is doing their own tweets. Something seems fundamentally wrong if you are not.”
I am happy to report that Jack does tweet for himself. Go Jack!
On Day 2 I noticed that one of our Hub bloggers was tweeting under another very well known person’s name. Huh? This bothered me. Quite a bit. So those tweets I thought were coming from Famous Person X aren’t written by him? Have we crossed an ethical gray area and why do I seem to be the only one concerned?
There are a number of things to ponder:
- Are we misrepresenting information when a tweet is posted under Person A’s name but was written by Person B?
- How much more influenced are you by an idea when “written” by Famous Person X. What does that tell us?
- Are we more willing to buy into an idea because of who said it than because of content of the idea?
- How many other times and in what other ways does this happen?
- Why does an individual feel the need to have someone else tweet and blog under their name?
- What are the motivators and factors involved?
- What are the risks?
- If we believe that someone is really putting out a significant volume of work by themselves when they really are not, what kinds of incorrect comparisons are we making relative to what they can and do accomplish vs. what we do?
- Might we view ourselves negatively compared to an unrealistic benchmark?
Am I just too naive or idealistic to think this shouldn’t be done? I can understand “brand management”, but at what point does it cross a line?
I personally vote for substance over volume, for not choosing the “popular” name for name’s sake. Yes, there are ghostwriters for books, but in the end, the creative elements and creative content is provided by the author. They participate every step of the way. Can you really claim that content comes from the author named when the post is 140 characters long and the “author” never read it?
It is one thing to blog and tweet as part of a company, as a representative of a company. It’s another to tweet and blog as another person. Yes, it might be “on their behalf” but isn’t it really a mis-representation of the truth? I think so (and so does my spouse who was kind enough to be my reviewer for this blog).
My personal conclusion remains a blend of To Tweet or Not to Tweet and my recent experience I will:
- Tweet for myself.
- Minimize the amount of tweeting and retweeting I do.
- It must have value, not just be noise or be about ”look at me, look at me.”
- Choose time with my family over being constantly on-line and available.
- Continue to question the ethics surrounding the use and mis-uses of social media.
- Continue to elevate this issue. To question the precedent that is currently being set.
- Be clear if someone else is tweeting on behalf of my brand – it will be clear that it is not me, rather the brand.
- Politely say no and explain that why I am uncomfortable if someone asks me to tweet under their name.
It’s not just about this step that concerns me, it’s about the next step and the one after. What line might we cross in the future if we so willingly and easily cross this one? How does this impact copyrighting, creative use, and other legal situations?
It seems like something we should be concerned about. Something to pay attention to and challenge. Ethics are important, really important. We think the truth is out there, but is it really what we think, or has it been mis-represented?
Is this another Elephant in the room? I think that this might just be the On-line Ethics Elephant. I think it should be talked about. Do you?
Are you putting all the pieces of what you learned together? Will you talk about what you see and the Elephants in the room?
The first day of the World Business Forum 2010 is complete. The speakers entertaining and educating.
The questions for me are:
- Was the audience really enlightened?
- Did they truly listen to the messages, not just the words?
- Will they truly take the core messages back to their businesses? To think about what it means to truly lead, not command and control?
While World Business Forum 2010 Day 1 is gone, the content it not? When you do as Collins suggests, stopping one day for every two weeks of booked time (come on, try it), I encourage you to ponder, think, reflect, and visit or revisit the Bloggers Hub. You’ll learn something new, provoke your thinking, and challenge yourself. I promise! I do every time I go back.
Articles related to what was learned, shared, discussed, and reflected on during the World Business Forum are forthcoming over the next weeks and months. My thanks to all the great bloggers, guests, and speakers who challenged my thinking and helped me to continue to drive myself and my thinking forward. Cheers all.
Elephant #1: We don’t truly value stopping to think, to reflect, to ponder.
We tend to value action much more than reflection. Doing over creating. I’d like you to stop and think about that. I’ll talk more about the motivation, drivers, and factors that drive this in a future blog.
I’m willing to talk about the Elephants in the room. The truth of what it takes to change a company, to change a culture, to change yourself. To be the Elephant Whisper. Are you willing to talk with me?
Elephant Whisperer: Strait talk about the Elephants in the Room ©
Book - ebook or hard copy tbd. Look for a series of blogs/articles on this topic in the interim.
Would love to hear back from you about the elephants that you see, how people deal with them (or not), and your personal stories.
Do you truly see me or do I simply look like all the rest? I stand alone in a crowd. Waiting for my uniqueness to be seen.
Recently a group of colleagues of mine, some really high caliber thinkers, shared a laugh about the attached penguin picture. This is a group of individuals I met through Linked In. Rather than posting in Linked In, we have found that we often turn to our small group. We challenge each others’ thinking, share insights and observations, and talk about “what if.” To me, one of the true and real benefits of social networking is having connected with these bright, insightful, and valuable colleagues.
This is a group of really great people who are forging their own paths. They have small firms which provide unique insights and are trying to make a difference. They all have a passion for people and have a high level of integrity. These are individuals who “get it” at multiple levels. They ask the hard questions. They offer the less popular solutions. They provide advice as to what they feel is truly needed, not just lip service. They want to do the “right” thing rather than the “easy” thing.
With the significant increase of individual Consultants and small businesses, it’s nice to see some truly qualified individuals out there with their own shingle. Individuals with a real desire to make a difference. Who want to help improve people, organizations, processes, and businesses not just in the short term, but in the long term. Individuals who aren’t selling a “solution” but rather are willing to invest the time and mental energy in understanding and analyzing situations to determine what would be of the most impact or highest value to the individual or business.
It appears that certain types of individuals (often when they cannot find employment) simply hang out a shingle and call themselves a Consultant. After all Consultants don’t do much or “real work” do they? They just tell others what to do and make big bucks don’t they? So the thinking goes.
With the flood of “Consultants” who have appeared in the marketplace this past year or two, each of us had been feeling a bit like we were being viewed as one of the crowd - when we each were quite different. We know this. Not just because of our individual personal beliefs, but because our thinking has been validated by other, deep skilled professionals. We know that we think and operate differently, but that we are often lost in a crowd.
We were concerned with the number of individuals who are labeling themselves as ”Consultants,” but that we don’t feel really “get it” or are selling bad solutions or the wrong answer. Their work products, behaviors, and ethics have an impact on the perception of all Consulting professionals. They do not demonstrate what we are truly capable of accomplishing.
My concern isn’t that that these new shiny shingled Consultants don’t have content knowledge. Frequently they are quite deep in one area or industry. Rather it’s that they do not have critical consulting, strategic, and analytical skills. It’s about whether they really understand what it means to be a Consultant.
- Do they know what a client really needs or are they following a checklist?
- Can they truly add long-term value to their clients?
- Can they see the connections across and within?
- Can they sense what is happening in the “whitespace” of an organization?
- Do they even know what that is?
- Do they know how to find it?
- Will they walk away from a client when they know that they aren’t the best solution or even a reasonable one?
Good, genuine, insightful Consulting is hard. Really, really hard. Honestly, my head hurts and I am exhausted when I’ve been deeply focused on my clients needs. When I’m doing some multi-dimensional systems thinking, often nested systems thinking.
My observation is that often times these deep skilled individuals are not well rewarded. They have chosen to take the path less traveled and less constrained. They want to operate with integrity and truth in an environment where many don’t want to hear the truth or take the hard, but right road. These individuals often work as much for intrinsic motivational reasons as extrinsic ones. They want to make businesses better and to do the best that they can for clients, without folding to politics and useless rhetoric.
For me, it doesn’t take long to identify who truly ”gets it.” Those that can see in color and think multi-dimensionally as compared to (or contrasted against) those who only see things in black and white but are adept at using the “right” words. Those that simply following a process, script, or methodology without taking the time to analyze what is truly needed.
Imagine the penguin picture in black and white. Would you see the Emperor penguin or would he/she look just like everyone else? Much of the world views Consultants in black and white. Apples to apples. A Change Management professional is a Change Management professional, is a Change Management professional right? Wrong. Very wrong.
So here’s my big shout out to some special people – great thinkers and good people.
YOU ARE UNIQUE and I APPRECIATE YOU. While we have never met in person, I’d work any day of the week, in any country with you and count myself both lucky and happy to do so.
Gail Severini, CEO at Symphini Change Management Inc Gail’s Blog
Luc Gallopin, Managing Director at Reply Management Consulting Luc’s Blog
Garrett Gitchell, President at Vision to Work Garrett’s Blog
Jim Markowsky, President of X-Factor Solutions LLC Jim’s Blog
You guys rock! May our lone penguin not feel so alone. May we find that Angel who will fund our time so we can stop worrying about the bills and take the time to write that Game Changer book. If not Us, then Whom. Both Me and You.
If you are reading this article and you happen to be willing to investment so that this group can pause their work long enough to write, let us know. We have a new view or two. In fact I know we do.
One drop goes far...
I recently have been reflecting on the concepts of Systems Thinking and Systems Dynamics. How so many things are interconnected. How various choices I make are connected together and impact myself and others, both immediately and at a later time. I’ve also been thinking about how things we learn as children often affect our behaviors as adults.
For those unfamiliar with Systems Thinking, it is a style of thinking (and analyzing) that looks at a myrid of elements and how they affect each other. It is a process of understanding how things influence one another within a defined “system.” I often refer to this as holistic thinking or thinking holistically.
If you are interested in learning more about this concept, you can go to the Systemswiki for more information (in addition to Wikipedia, of course). You might also be interested in System Dynamics.
As I was reading in the wiki, the following came to mind.
Every choice I make,
Every action I take,
affects those around me.
I am both the stone and the ripple in the pond of life.
May I also be one with the pond.
I’d like to ask that you stop and reflect on a few things:
- How your own behaviors and style of interaction affect others?
- What it means if someone has a “positive vibe” or a “negative vibe”?
- How the positive or negative energy of others can affect you?
Have you ever heard the following phrases? Do you know what they mean?
- They are an energy vampire.
- They sucked the life right out of the room.
It is my hope that my actions have a positive influence not a negative one (a One not a Zero) as I continue on my quest for a revolution in the pond of life.
Will you join me in creating positive ripples, not negative ones? May we infuse others with energy, not drain them.
Do You Hear What I Hear?
At this point you might be thinking authentic listening, what’s that? No, your brain hasn’t failed you. Nor is it something you are likely to find in a Dictionary or on Wikipedia. It’s a term I use. Authentic listening is not the same as “active” listening but does incorporate active listening. According to Wikipedia,
“Active listening is a communication technique. Active listening requires the listener to understand, interpret, and evaluate what they hear. The ability to listen actively can improve personal relationships through reducing conflicts, strengthening cooperation, and fostering understanding.
When interacting, people often are not listening attentively. They may be distracted, thinking about other things, or thinking about what they are going to say next (the latter case is particularly true in conflict situations or disagreements). Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding to others, focusing attention on the speaker. Suspending one’s own frame of reference and suspending judgment are important to fully attend to the speaker.”
To me, to truly, genuinely, and authentically listen, you need to not only listen, but “hear” and process on multiple levels. You need to look at the words used, the intent, the context, the emotional state of the speaker, the past history between individuals, etc. You need to recognize, think through, and act upon (if appropriate) the underlying motivations, drivers, and expectations.
Hidden desires and motivations often play a big part of what is said and how it is stated. Do you really want to “hear” what someone else is saying – understand where the other person is coming from and why – or do you just want to make your point.
In addition to listening actively, being authentic in how you listen includes elements of reflective listening. Again, from Wikipedia, reflective listening attempts to “…reconstruct what the client is thinking and feeling and to relay this understanding back…”
Authentic listening includes listening actively, using reflection techniques, listening with an intent to “hear” the underlying messages, seeking to understand where another individual is coming from, processing across multiple dimensions, and being conscious of the underlying filters and motivations that you personally bring with you during a conversation.
I believe true, authentic listening is a lost art. It comes from a place of true caring – having an interest in others, their experiences, and their personal goals.
- How well do you really listen?
- Do you use active listening?
- Do you use reflective listening techniques?
- Do you really listen and “hear” what is said or are you often working to prepare your response prior to the other person finishing?
- What actions can you take to help ensure you listen more authentically?
- How would you feel if someone was really authentic when they listened to you?
- Do you hear what I hear when we talk?
May your conversations not only be active and reflective but authentic too. I hope you think that mine are. I’m not perfect (no one is) but I do always seek to be authentic. To me, life’s too short and complex enough already to be anything else. Cheers.
This topic has been on my mind for a while. I’d been planning on writing an article titled “Please, Thank-you, and a Smile” next month where I focused on their value. One might say that the stars have aligned today – or in this case the behaviors have been out of line – and this one emerged instead.
I’ll apologize in advance if this sounds like a bit of a rant and lengthier than usual. I’ll ask you to be gracious enough to bear with me. I won’t be offended if you skip through The Rant to look at the Tipping Point, Thoughts to Ponder, Bottom line, and Background. Each section could probably have been it’s own article. My objective is to leave you with things to ponder. My hope that you find things of value to think about and to help you along life’s journey.
I’d also like to thank you in advance for listening. Really, Thank You! I do mean that. Sometimes the value we provide to others is simply just listening to them as they express their feelings, emotions, and opinions.
The rant…
Has anyone else out there noticed that social skills, politeness, and basic good manners seem to be slipping? I really don’t think it’s just my perception being skewed. I’ve been observing this both in-person and on-line for quite a while. If customer interactions are so important to a business, why do they often seem unimportant to the “front line” of individuals who interact with the customers? I’ve been pondering what drives individuals’ behaviors for a while?
- How do incentive and reward systems, feedback, cultural norming affect behavior?
- Why don’t people say Please, Thank You, or I appreciate your help more often?
- Are we really ”too busy” to be polite or is that really just an excuse, a cop-out?
- If we are “too busy”, what can we do to become less busy and more polite?
- When people do say Please and Thank You, do we take them with sincerity or suspect them? If we suspect them, why do we?
Have you stopped lately to check your own behavior? Have you observed that many arguments continue way beyond any useful point because the parties want to “win.” Or, in some cases so that one or more of the parties don’t feel that they would be perceived as “weak” or “giving in”. Do you ever give yourself a “time out”? I do. Really, I do sometimes. When I recognize I’m getting too frustrated and aggravated, I’ll go in another room for a few minutes so that I can calm down. It’s about gathering myself together so that I can interact in a productive manner rather than a destructive one.
Have you ever agreed to simply disagree? I’ve learned to do this. Did I always, no. I have learned that there are times that this is simply the very best answer. You might say that I’ve grown up – well, at least a bit.
So that’s my rant and what’s on my mind. Thanks for listening. May you Smile more, say Thank You more often, and help us make things just a little more positive around us.
The root cause, motivation, and tipping point…
In case you were wondering what was the “tipping point” today? Have you noticed how many of my links are to Wikipedia? Today I was thinking about this and why I like Wikipedia. I got on-line to try to find a way to say Thank You to Wikipedia’s contributors. I wondered if anyone said Thank You to them and how to go about it. It’s seemed to be so integrated into society in many ways that I wondered if we think about how much work it actually takes to create and maintain it. In researching, I found the underpinnings of Wikipedia. The more I read and thought about their guidelines, pillars, and netiquette, the more I thought about what I had been observing off-line and what the connections might be.
I’d like to share one of Wikipedia’s five pillars. I think that this one really applies to everything. Not just on-line interactions.
- Wikipedians should interact in a respectful and civil manner. Respect and be polite to your fellow Wikipedians, even when you disagree. Apply Wikipedia etiquette, and avoid personal attacks. Find consensus, avoid edit wars, and remember that there are 3,256,368 articles on the English Wikipedia to work on and discuss. Act in good faith, never disrupt Wikipedia to illustrate a point, and assume good faith on the part of others. Be open and welcoming.
Some closing thoughts and questions to ponder…
I’ve been thinking about the underlying drivers’ of etiquette, netiquette, and social behaviors for quite a while. I’d like to ask you to ponder a few things with me:
- Are really people ruder?
- Is this a perception or a reality?
- Is perception really the reality?
- How do you perceive it?
- What dimensions do you see it through? It’s more than words.
- I believe it shows up in body language, expression, actions et al.
- I’ve observed all the “right words” being used where I can completely read the body language and the underlying motivation differently.
- Have people lost a level of genuineness? If so, why might this be happening?
- How do you think email, texting, twitter, and other on-line social media might have contributed to changes in behaviors?
- As you project into the future 5, 10, 15, or 20 years, how might changes in children’s behaviors and actions affect business and society in general?
Bottom Line…
I don’t have any answers, only observations, experiences, thoughts, and beliefs. While I can’t change others (each person has to change for themselves), I can work to be polite, kind, and considerate in my own little part of the world and in my on-line actions. To smile at those around me. Do I always do it right? Absolutely not. If I’m wrong or behaved poorly I’ll seek to apologize. I’ll work to improve. Nice does not have to mean “fake.”
No, life’s not all hearts and butterflies as the cynical saying goes, but a smile or two would be most welcome. A wave, a please, a thank you, and some honest to goodness sincerity too. I value those individuals I see it in and hope they value it in me too. As the old saying goes, it takes less muscles to smile than to frown.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about a Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana song goes like this… ”life’s what you make it, so let’s make it right.”
Some Background…
The following provoked my thinking and lead to this writing this article today:
- Wikipedia’s five pillars.
- Wikipedia’s guidelines.
- Article by Jimmy Wales, the founder of Wikipedia regarding Keeping a Civil Cybertounge.
- Background on Jimmy Wales.
- Theory on how facial movement can influence emotions.
Click here for more information regarding how to make a donation to continue building Wikipedia.
Me and My Imagination
Today I was thinking about perspectives and viewpoints. How our past experiences, thoughts, and imagination influence how we see things. I wondered how often we (the collective we) stop to consider the background, experience, and baggage (yes baggage) that we bring to the (metaphorical) table. How often do we stop and think about how something might look different from another perspective.
As I was thinking about this, I started pondering how a tree would look different depending on where you were – the side, above it, or underneath. It’s the same tree, but it would look very different depending on where you are viewing it from.
I’d like to ask that you take you on a short mental walk with me. Can you join me in your imagination? I’m heading out the door now. To my right is an evergreen tree. On the left are some flowers. Beyond those flowers is another evergreen. I’d like to sit down now. Will you join me? Yes, I know, we didn’t go far. But I think that is as far as we need to go to gain some insights in this pondering.
I’d like you to stop for a moment and build a mental image around you. That is if you haven’t already. What do you see? Try to picture all the things I mentioned. Here are some questions to help you build your mental picture.
As you walked through the door:
- What did the door look like? Was it open or closed?
- What color was the door? Did it have a window in it?
- What type of handle did it have? Did you turn it?
- If you opened the door, did you open it towards you or away from you?
As you moved outside:
- What type of surface were you standing on?
- Was it wet or dry?
- What color is it?
As you pictured the evergreens and flowers:
- What type of evergreen(s) did you visualize? Are both evergreens the same type?
- How tall are the evergreens? Which one is taller?
- Are there any pinecones or berries on the evergreen(s)?
- What type of flowers do you see?
- Are they all the same type or is there a variety? How tall are they?
- Are the flowers in bloom or dormant? What colors are they?
- What do the stalks and leaves look like?
So what are you thinking now? Me, I’m thinking that’s an awful lot of questions that we can all answer differently. I could add even more, but I think you’ve got the picture (yes, pun intended). I’d be very surprised if any of us have the same picture in our heads.
Me, I’m sitting on a step. Am I really? No, but in my imagination I am. In reality I’m several states away from where I am imagining I am. In my imagination I’m sitting right outside my kitchen, on the step to my deck. The step is made from a dark brown Trex, as is the floor of the deck where my feet are. The pattern in the flooring runs different directions. The sun is shining, but there are a few clouds in the sky. I don’t need my sunglasses. I didn’t mention the sky. Did you consider it? The evergreen on the right is tall with pinecones. I can just see the top of it over my railing – not the whole evergreen. Were you picturing Annuals or Perennials? The flowers I was imagining are actually in a planter, not in the ground. Honestly, they aren’t even planted yet. I was just gathering my thoughts about what I want to plant there this year. Picturing what it might look like. I’m thinking about 3 different types with different heights and colors. Probably a tall, spiky type plant in the middle with some pink and yellow around it. The second evergreen looks shorter but is actually taller. It’s down in the yard. My yard slopes quite a bit, so the view from up here is quite a bit different from down there.
So what’s the point of this walk through our imaginations?
- We are all influenced by where we come from. The physical location and environment we grew up and/or currently live in will likely affect the type of door, floor, plants and trees we visualize.
- If it has this much affect on such a small activity, imagine how much it might be affecting and influencing how we interact with others.
- Visualization is an important skill? Did you have trouble visualizing? Was this because you didn’t really try or because it is difficult for you? If it is indeed difficult, what can you do to help build this skill? My recommendation – read a fiction book. Too often we watch a movie, play a video game, or engage in some other passive mental activity. This has actually had an impact on developing the part of our mind that builds our visualization muscles. For more information you can click hereto access wikipedia’s Portal to the Mind and Brain.
- How might your ability to imagine affect your ability to “see” others viewpoints?
- As I described my “perspective” did you change yours or did your picture stay the same? How might this relate to how we “listen” to others?
- As others describe something to us, do we hold tightly to our viewpoint or do we try to make adjustments?
This my reader was but a short activity, a small slice of life. Each and every day we interact with a myriad of people around us bringing our perspectives, backgrounds, thoughts, imaginations, and experiences with us. Thousands, possible millions of things affect our unique perspectives. Trying to understand where someone else comes from, their background and experiences can help you better “see” a situation through their unique viewpoint and perspective. Digging deeper, asking more questions, and really seeking to build an entire mental image (whether metaphorical or actual) in our mind can help you view things more completely.
Sometimes it’s important to slow down and really look around you. To Stop, Look, and Listen. You might be surprised. Me, I’m going to stop a moment to enjoy some sunshine on my face in my imagination. Later today I’m going to find some time to enjoy the real thing – I am after all in the “Sunshine State” of Florida at the moment. As the old John Denver song says, “sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy.” It also provides some much needed Vitamin D. I don’t want to be deficient.
