Archive for Personnel Skills
Which one are you?
- One for me, one for you, more for me, none for you…
If you have seen Forrest Gump, you are likely to remember the line in the movie where he states that life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you get. It’s a memorable statement. On one hand, it sounds like you need to get started before you know what you have. On another, it sounds like maybe you should try as many as you can. At least to a chocoholic like me… What made this line in the movie so powerful? The analogy. Almost everyone could relate to it and could understand the point that Forrest was getting to very quickly.
I’ve found analogies to be quite useful – at least when your analogy makes sense and your audience “gets it.” An analogy, as defined by Wikipedia, is a ”… cognitive process of transferring information from a particular subject (the analogue or source) to another particular subject (the target), and a linguistic expression corresponding to such a process. … They can play a significant role in problem solving, decision making, perception, memory, creativity, emotion, explanation and communication.” Whoa, too many big words. Let’s try that again, in my language. To me, analogies convey a wealth of information in a short amount of time by allowing you to relate one thing to another. You apply the properties of one item to another to draw an inference or conclusion. On a more serious note, for the information junkie and lifelong learners out there, I did find reading and thinking about the Wikipedia definition useful. I had not processed how many different ways that we use analogies. I actually use a variation of an analogy for my pictures and underlying text within these ponderings.
The analogy that I have found myself using a great deal lately is people are like rubber bands.
What, a rubber band you say? I’m not a little piece of rubber… No, you are not. But bear with me and think for a moment about a rubber band. What comes to mind? Material? Uses for the rubber band? The fact that they wear out? That they can become brittle? That they can snap? That rubber bands come in different sizes? In different thicknesses? That some are easier to stretch than others? Have you thought about how hot and cold can affect their properties? That children (and some adults who behave like children) like to shoot them at each other?
What all rubber bands have in common is their ability to expand and contract. For a rubber band, a few might call it ”resilience,” but most simply talk about how stretchy it is.
People come in different shapes, sizes, colors and strengths. At times we have more “capacity” to deal with change, we are more resilient. Other times we have been pulled in six different directions at once and simply have no capacity left. In “Change Management lanuage,” we often talk of resilience, of resistance to change, or change fatigue. We often focus on all the outside factors and influences without thinking too much about the inside. I like to think about both, the inside and the outside view. Sometimes, the best way that we may be able to help people is to simply help them strengthen their own internal rubber band.
The question I have for you today is how might the analogy of a rubber band help you not only better understand an individual’s current state, but think differently about how you might help drive effective and more sustainable change? Changing the factors outside the rubber band are frequently temporary. Strengthening the rubber band itself can more permanent.
Here’s to hoping that you “get” my rubber band analogy and find a way to build some strength and resiliance within yourself and others. Find more “stretchiness” – or find a way to get back some that you use to have. Cheers!
P.S. Now go shoot a rubber band and see how it makes you feel.
Do you feel like you are trying to juggle the world in your hands?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it takes to be a Change Agent.
- What does it really mean to be a Change Agent?
- What does it take to drive lasting change?
- How much physical, mental, and emotional energy does it take to make changes and truly make them stick?
Let’s be honest, it takes a lot of energy to change. It can be an enormous amount of energy, especially when you are trying to project positive energy into a group. The more places in your life you are working to make changes, the more people you are trying to impact, the more energy it takes. I’ve recently determined that I’ve been trying to be a Change Agent in too many places at once – juggling too many balls at once. I had hit my personal “change fatigue” wall. I had lost my energy and was feeling like a Zero (O). (For more information about what I mean by a Zero, refer to my first blog, The Revolution of One). I was concerned about my ability to remain upbeat and positive. How had this happened? I didn’t want to be a O. Yikes!
After talking with a colleague the phrase “coming from a place of hope” suddenly ran through my mind. What the heck? I realized that I was feeling more optimistic than I had the last several days. I started to analyze (what, me analyze something?):
- How did I feel mentally, emotionally, and physically at that moment in time?
- What did this phrase mean to me?
- Why had it come to mind?
I realized that I had unexpectedly had a “state change”. While I was still feeling tired and overwhelmed I was now a bit more optimistic. Not the “light at the end of the tunnel”, rather from a glass half-full rather than half-empty perspective. It’s the place I want to be. I believe that we can add or subtract energy from others around us individually and in groups. That how we feel and the emotions we project affect others. As I talked with my colleague, I’d been talking about the business environment, my views on change, and my sincere desire to have a positive impact on those around me and on business at large. There have been huge amounts of stress in the work environment this past year (and at home too) for almost everyone.
I wasn’t trying to execute anything, just talk about my perspectives and beliefs. I explained that if I have a personal mission to have a positive impact on others. That I believe in cascading impacts. That if I could positively impact one person, they could have a positive impact on someone else, so on and so forth. That we could together have a large, positive impact on the business environment. Our own Revolution of sorts. I think we need it in the business world.
In describing my fundamental beliefs, I had found some new energy. I remembered the “root reasons” (vs. root cause) that I am a Change Agent. By simply talking with me and validating my thoughts and work, my friend had been a Change Agent for me - providing some much needed positive reinforcement and new energy.
It can be hard being the person that rattles cages, raises red flags, and points out the elephants in the room. Candidly, it’s stressful and exhausting. I don’t enjoy raising the flags or talking about the elephants, but someone needs to in order to drive long-term, sustainable change.
Talking about problems, challenges, and pink elephants often raises fear and worry in others. This can take excessive amounts of emotional energy to help manage effectively. It’s something that most people are afraid to do, but something that must be done to make real and lasting changes. You can’t drive successful change if you aren’t willing to discuss problems and history. If you are not honest and “real” about situations, there will simply be some head nodding in the room when you discuss new or desired behaviors. When people leave, they will go back to their old behaviors – quicker than you might think.
What my friend had done for me was to validate that while I can’t please everyone and might feel personal stress about acting the “troublemaker,” what I was doing was important. I had left the conversation with a renewed sense of purpose and personal hope. “Coming from a place of hope” described how I was feeling at the moment. It struck me that this too was a powerful thought. That where there is hope, there are possibilities. Where there are possibilities, change can happen. That having a feeling of hope had actually helped counter my feeling of exhaustion (no, not all of it, but some).
I stepped back from myself to acknowledge that I can’t be “on” all the time as I had been trying to do. That it’s not realistic to think you can always be a One (1). While I do want to drive a Revolution, (see The Revolution of One), there are times I might need to be a O, at least for a little while, so that I can go back to being a 1 later on. That in the real world, unlike my technological metaphor, there are in-between states – ½, ¾, 5/6. Those are also ok places to be.
So I decided that for the next several days I’ll focus on the idea of hope, recognize the bumps in the road, acknowledge that there are day’s I might need to be less than a 1. I’ll remind myself, work on feeling, and believe that I am coming from a place of hope and that’s good enough for now. I’ll accept that it’s ok to be a ½, neither a O or a 1 for the time being. I’ll be a ½ with hope for a better tomorrow and the belief that with some rest and sleep (not always the same thing) that I could go back to being the 1 that I want to be.
So my personal lesson for today was to hold tight to hope and possibilities. To accept that when you can’t be a whole (1) it’s ok to be a ½. Give yourself partial credit.
Change is hard. Being the Change Agent can be even harder. Change is tiring and never happens all at once.
So my wish and hope for all of you is that you too find a piece of hope today and each day forward. That you give yourself credit for what you have accomplished, rather than focusing on how far you still have to go. That you find your own place of hope, piece of inspiration, and some renewed belief. This can come from the smile of a colleague or a child, taking time to stop to look out a window at the flowers and trees (or the snow if it’s winter). Find something in your environment around you that you can draw inspiration and hope from. Stop, Look, and Listen not to understand others better, but to pause for yourself. To give yourself a break and some personal recognition.
I ask that you can continue to join me as we make our own Revolution at whatever level you can, one day at a time, one person at a time, one situation at a time. For today, I’ll continue to focus on being a Change Agent-at-Large, even only at half-strength. I’ll keep my hope for better tomorrow. I absolutely believe that together we can change many things. A little bit at a time isn’t simply good, it’s GREAT.
So here is my “true confession.” I actually drafted this article several months ago. Life (and all the winter flu varieties) simply got out of control and I never finalized this post. Some days I felt a bit guilty, but I worked to remind myself that any forward progress was good and 1/2 was ok. I asked myself if it really mattered if the story went up in October or in January. You, the reader don’t really care do you? As I start the New Year and seek to post articles and stories more actively, I pulled the draft of this article out and made the final edit.
So what are the key messages I hope you take from this article?
- Being a Change Agent is hard work. It can be stressful and exhausting. But if you don’t do it, who will?
- It’s critical to rattle the cages, raise flags, and point out the elephants. If you don’t talk about them and address them, it is unlikely that change with “stick”. Again, if you don’t do it, who will?
- There is a great level of stress that comes with always being “on”? A simply analogy is a light bulb. It gets hot and burns out quicker if it is always on. When natural light is available or no one is around, shutting it off prolongs the life of the light bulb. We need to do the same for ourselves.
- Have you thought how “change fatigue” applies not just to change programs, but to yourself also?
- Are you planning appropriate breaks for yourself and within your change program?
- Are you taking care of yourself physically, recognizing how your health impacts your ability to create change?
- Are you giving yourself appropriate mental breaks?
- Are you giving yourself the credit that you should?
- Are you recognizing that any forward progress is good, even if it took longer than you had initially planned or scheduled?
- Are you familiar with the concept of diminishing returns?
- Can you recognize when you have reached that point?
- Can you tell yourself it is ok to step back and not work on something for a while? Regain your energy and start again. You will likely get farther.
A huge THANKS and virtual hug to my friend Ron for providing positive feedback in a time of need. A shout out of THANKS to my spouse, Bruce, for his on-going support of my efforts big and small, including providing feedback on this blog. He rocks.
I was listening to a holiday song that I love called “If Every Day Could be Christmas.” Every year when I listen to this song, I think about how people often interact differently with others during this time of year. I think about what it might mean if every day really were like Christmas. I’ve often wished I could bottle the “holiday spirit” and release it into the world each and every day. The holiday season is a crazy, busy time of year for most of us. Yet somehow most people find a way to reach out to others. To say a kind word. To give a gift – whether great or small – of time, money, or material goods.
May Our Wishes Grow and Bloom
My thoughts about Christmas then turned to wishes. What I would wish for each day in 2010? Rather than New Year’s resolutions, I decided to make wishes. Resolutions look backward and frequently focus on some negative aspect or behavior. I’ve found that focusing on them simply provides one more way for that “internal gremlin” to get that metaphorical stick out and bash me when I don’t ”keep” the resolution. Most are absolutes, 0/1 situations. You either do, or you don’t. There’s no middle ground. Wishes can be positive and motiviational. They can be incremental, not absolute.
So here it is, my Christmas Wishes.
May you find…
Moments of Joy during times of Sorrow.
The strength of Patience in the midst of a Crisis.
A sense of Peace in the midst of Chaos.
May you see…
The spark of life in every living thing.
A sliver lining in every stormy cloud.
A reason to be happy and laugh each and every day.
May you feel…
A sense of purpose in your life.
Compassion for those less fortunate for you.
Love for yourself and from others.
It is my hope and wish for each and every one of you that you find reasons to live joyfully, have many people to love, and share many moments of laughter with others.
Come celebrate life with me. Make wishes not resolutions. Live, love, and laugh out loud. If you can’t some days that’s ok. Remember that each day is a new day – you can always start over. When you need to, get back in bed and get out of the other side. Not just metaphorically, but physically. See if it doesn’t help you change your outlook for the day. You might just start with a laugh. If it’s with me or at me and my ideas, that’s ok. Laughter, whatever the trigger, will help recalibrate your day.
Smiles, Laughter, and Joy are contagious. It’s my wish that you both find some for yourself and to share it with others (me included). May you find a way for every day to be Christmas and for my Wishes to come true.
Are you simply marching forward or will you Stop, Look, and Listen?
In one of my recent bouts of insomnia, the phrase Stop, Look, and Listen came to mind. I tried to ask my subconscious and unconscious mind why it/they pushed this phrase up to my conscious level. I really wanted to better understand what it was about that phrase that was contributing to my inability to get the much needed sleep I was craving. I’ve yet to master getting a direct answer from that subconscious or unconscious mind of mine. So I moved on to my typical response – creating my own hypotheses and having a dialog with myself at the conscious level. Yes, I talk with myself regularly. I just try not to do it out loud. I can receive funny looks from others when I do.
Upon reflection, it appeared that my subconscious had been analyzing and connecting together things I had been thinking about at a conscious level for the last couple of days. It had been working in the background and wanted to share a connection it had made. Below are some of the things that I had been thinking about at the conscious level.
- The impacts of operating in an environment of constant chaos.
- What causes this to develop as a culturally accepted practice, to be the “norm”?
- What is the root cause for this behavior?
- What is the impact of working in that manner for extended periods of time?
- What level of stress results from this?
- What coping mechanisms have individuals developed over time?
- How might one go about influencing and potentially changing this aspect of a culture?
- Motivational factors.
- That individuals want to be recognized as that, individuals.
- How different people are motivated by different things. Not necessarily how some people are motivated by the US dollar, some by the Euro, and some by the Yen as my friend and colleague Tim Stephens responded them I commented on Linked In that I was thinking about this.
- Value and belief systems, including the concepts of Integrity, Honesty, and Trustworthiness.
- What do these words really imply?
- How are they valued or not valued?
- Where did I observe and/or experience these attributes?
- What is their importance in business and personal relationships?
- What causes “broken trust?”
- What needs to and/or can be changed in an environment of constant chaos?
- Would better time management help?
- Does the client understand the difference between Important vs. Urgent?
- Why are the “squeaky wheels” so squeaky? What is the root cause?
- What goals are they focusing on – as individuals, as a group, or as a department?
- What “out-of-the-box” ideas might reduce stress and the feeling of chaos?
- Who can help them change?
- What does it mean to be a leader?
- What can leaders do to help others embrace change?
- What is my current role?
- How far “out of bounds” should I go to help them?
- What does it really means to be a “Change Agent?” Not the textbook definition, but who actually causes change to occur and why.
It was interesting (at least to me) that my unconscious mind connected all of these with a single rule that we teach children. If you don’t know the rule that I am talking about, it relates to crossing a street. You stop, look both ways, and listen for vehicles before crossing the street. This is not a rule I have thought about in several years – at least not at a conscious level.
How often do we all consciously Stop, Look, and Listen? How might remembering this phrase influence us as adults? What if we take as an action to consciously stop several times a day? To raise our heads from our desks, cubes, offices, or other work environments we are in – to really listen to those around us. Maybe both passively and actively. Not just listening to the words used, but thinking through the contributing factors and motivations. How often do we really try to understand each other – at more than a surface level? How often do we simply reflect? What would we learn if we observed and processed more and reacted less?
What’s going on around you at work, with your friends, with your family, in your environment? What could you better understand, influence or change if you stopped trying to go forward so fast, gathered input both directly and perceptually, and gave your brain time to process information before reacting? As a result of pondering on these topics Covey’s phrase “Seek to Understand before being Understood” came to mind as well as the phrase “sometimes you need to go slow, to go fast”.
I personally find it amazing and fascinating how our brain works. Have you ever stopped long enough to appreciate what your brain can actually do and does every day? The things that we can process mentally and process differently than a computer is truly worth thinking about. We have the ability to leap over areas, not always thinking linearly. Anyone who has worked with me (or even talked with me for very long) can attest to the fact that my brain will sometimes leap all over the place. There are always connections – nodes and synaptic connections as I think of them. However, what comes out of my mouth has sometimes skipped along 4 or 5 of them.
I’m going to challenge myself to consciously remember to Stop, Look, and Listen more often. Will you join me? You might just be surprised at the connections your brain makes. I was.
A shout out of THANKS to my friend and colleague Long for reviewing this pondering and providing feedback. His insights are always appreciated.
Note: In case you are wondering where my brain will go next, my current blog topic list (which I maintain by emailing ideas to myself) includes writing more on Time Management, Change Agents, Covey, Active Listening, Empathy – EQ vs. IQ, Important vs. Urgent, and “going slow to go fast”. Mental models and further discussions regarding how the brain processes information are also “in the works”. This can alternately be described as percolating in the subconscious level.
Some blogs will give you advice, other tools and “rules of thumb”, others are written with the intent of making you think. I hope that this one made you think a little more today and will help you Stop, Look, and Listen a little more tomorrow. I also hope to make you laugh along the way. Hopefully you’ve already figured that out – if not…
The road less traveled? A simplier life.
I’ve been hearing a lot about Twitter these days. Discussions in an ExecuNet forum regarding how companies could use it to gather information about employee viewpoints have been particularly interesting. At the same time I’ve been following another discussion regarding the up-take of technology (aka how quickly tech is implemented). One individual in particular has been very vociferous as to their view that companies need to move to new technology faster. While I did not publicly respond, my internal mental response was 1) that is not always a benefit to be a first mover and 2) you want to integrate technology when it makes strategic sense, not just because it is available. All the fervor over Twitter and the speed of technological up-take made me stop and think about one word. Why.
- Why would I want to be on Twitter? Hum… It is a communication mechanism. I’ve heard others talk about using it to develop business relationships so that made me think maybe.
- Why wouldn’t I want to be on Twitter? Hum… Because it seems like it uses a lot of push technology. I get enough e-mails.
- Why do I need to see “tweets”?
- Why would people send tweets to me, i.e. what is their motivation?
Decisions regarding whether to use Technology should be made strategically. This applies to personal life as well as professional life.
- How might I use it? If I’m meeting someone for dinner and I’m late or need the address, I suppose we could “tweet” back and forth. But we could also just call each other on the cell phones. Wouldn’t that be faster and more efficient?
- Would I want to get pinged constantly with updates? It is an interruption to my work.
- What’s the impact of the interruption? Does the impact outweight the cost?
- Do I need to know what people are doing every 20 minutes?
- Is this a good use of my time?
While I understand the mechanics of Twitter, I’m not sure I “get” the value. From what I’ve heard (granted, second hand) people are being pinged constantly and that would not bode well for me getting my work done. So with my limited understanding, second hand knowledge, and thoughts about what was important to me in hand I concluded ”not right now”. As with other strategic technology decisions it is something I’ll revisit again but I’ve put aside “worrying” about it for now.
I then moved on to the myriad of other things swirling around in my head…
- How much time do we really spend thinking about the communication tool we are using: 1) whether it is the right one for what we are doing and 2) if we should change our tools/methods?
- Why don’t people change tools/methods? Typically they respond to emails or tweets. Wouldn’t picking up a phone be faster in many cases? Why don’t they make that change? What drives this behavior?
- Is there a generational difference in who uses Twitter? Or, rather who developed the program and launched it. If you think about Facebook, it’s my understanding/memory that it was started as a way to keep in touch with friends. I remember hearing about it for years before I joined in (just a few months ago).
- The latest gen seems to be text message addicts. Why? What’s the impact on their social skills? How does this impact their focus on the job (if they have one)?
- How does the interpersonal communication style of each generation affect them in their business and work life?
One pool I was recently at had lifeguards texting while on duty. I don’t know about what you think, but I’d rather have them watch out for the safety of the kids in the pool.
- Twitter today, texting before that, and email before texting is suppose to create ”faster/more efficient” ways for us to communicate. Do they really?
- While it may be more efficient in some cases, are these new communication tools possibly doing more harm than good?
- How much of our feelings of being overwhelmed is something that we are unconsciously doing to ourselves?
- How much of the massive on-line exchanges currently occurring is being driven by those individuals currently out of work? Would the traffic be significantly impacted if they were to find jobs?
- Do habits develop while being unemployed carry into employment time? How much does this contribute to some of the massive amounts of work related stress being reported?
You personally will need to answer the question of how you want to be connected, how you want to spend your time, and what is valuable for you to participate in. I’ve decided that I need to find ways to simplify my own life – to get back some desperately needed family time. To go the road less traveled these days. I want to have F2F conversations with my spouse, not just talk over email. Not only have I felt this, but one daughter has commented multiple times this past week that I am always working. It’s time that I start my own behavioral revolution. That I take action in order to have more time with my family. So I’ve decided I’ll:
- Change my LI and FB settings to get less “pushed” to me.
- Access LI and FB to interact when I have the time, rather than allowing them to regularly interrupt my day.
- Think more about what I put on FB. Do my friends really need to read that?
- Get on FB for 5-10 mins in the morning to connect with friends and start with a smile. Again at the end of the day for another.
- Use LI with my business associates and sync my Contacts and Connections.
- Skip using MS in lieu of my home space.
- Bonk noses with, hug, and play games with my kids rather than Tweet – at least for now (i’m not sure they will still enjoy nose bonks when they hit puberty).
- Look at the RSS feeds and reduce autofeeds. Including those that came pre-installed on this PC.
- Get my email accounts and phone email accounts cleared out.
- Create a “To-do When Time” folder in my email and move things that don’t attention within the next 48 hours to there. I’m tired of looking at my very full email and reading the same subject lines over and over.
- Ask myself more frequently if a phone call wouldn’t be better.
- Respond, delete, move, or file emails as much as possible when I first look at them. If I leave it in the in-box. I’m giving myself 48 hours or less to respond or address it.
So tonight we’ll go back in time to a simplier lifestyle. I’ll power down the PC and cell phones, I’ll cook dinner (maybe), we’ll sit together at the table, we’ll play a board game afterwards. I’ll make time for us, not the millions of others out there. One step at a time, one day at a time, I’m taking back my life.
For those of you who wondered – yes, the title is a spin on the Shakespeare quote “To be or not to be, that is the question.” If you are interested in Hamlet’s speech and have some time to ponder other things, you can go here to see the quote.
A Shout Out of Thanks to Scott for his reaction to my draft of this blog. I eagerly await his response to this post as well as the possibility of dragging him in to be a guest blogger. Another tactic to take back my life…
Wikipedia defines revolution as follows:
A revolution (from the Latin revolutio, “a turn around”) is a fundamental change in power or organizational structures that takes place in a relatively short period of time.
Amidst the corporate chaos and on-going organizational changes there lies a source of power, power for change. There are the People.
People come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and viewpoints. There are many, many viewpoints. Sometimes it seems like too many. Have you heard the joke that if you ask 4 recruiters their opinion on a resume you will get 5 answers? If you’ve been looking for a job lately you know that this is not just a joke, often a reality.
Often the different viewpoints seem opposed and are a source of chaos, but if you seek to understand not just respond, they can be a great source of information and power. How often do you stop to try and truly understand another’s viewpoint and how they reached their own personal conclusions? What attitude do you bring to the interaction? Are you focused on listening to a different viewpoint or are you focused on winning an argument?
When you interact with others today are you going to be a 0 (Off) or a 1 (On)?
Attitude truly does make a difference. The Beatles sang of One being the loneliest number yet in the Matrix we saw how significant the impact of “The One” could truly be. We can all be Agents of Change. The revolution starts with yourself and your attitude, not with others and theirs. We can influence others but we can only truly change ourselves.
Binary language focuses on Zero and One, Off and On. There are studies showing that when collaboration is involved, the sum can be greater than the individual parts. Where One + One + One = Four not Three. Where there is the addition of understanding and alignment of objectives vs. the subtraction of position and personal power plays.
When you interact with others today and make decisions related to your job, your department, your organization and programs, are you going to be a 0 (Off) or a 1 (On)?
Faith Fuqua-Purvis is the founder of Synergetic Solutions LLC, a consulting firm specializing in Strategic Change. She is a strategic thinker, a proactive leader and an experienced coach, helping business implement transformational changes by aligning people, organizational structures, and operational activities with business strategies. You can find her complete profile at LinkedIn.
Photo credit: clix This article first appeared on The CIO Assistant’s Blog on July 1st.
