Archive for Elephant Whisper ©
Have you stopped today to enjoy the sights and sounds of nature around you?
Many times we think we are living, but we are really just existing. We deal with the day to day and it feels like a grind.
We trudge through our day, doing our work, working on our to-do list (or lists), answering the phone and email, and trying to make “progress”. But we feel stifled, tired, worn out, stressed. We’re trying to figure out how to change things but everything we think of feels like too much extra work.
We often look for the big solutions and big changes when the little ones can have the most impact. A few weeks ago I wrote about the Value of Nature. How taking a few minutes to enjoy Nature around you can go a long way. Since that time I’ve made an effort to enjoy my back deck and the woods behind me as many days as possible. I’ve also made an effort to visit with some neighbors on their back patio.
Although my life is pretty chaotic at the moment (many major life events going on) my inner peace has been increasing on days that I’ve stopped to check out of work and the digital world and connect with Nature and neighbors. On the days I haven’t, where I keep my head down focusing on the list, telling myself I don’t have time to go outside, I find my stress continues to increase.
Life’s not perfect, it’s a rare moment that it is. It is, however for living, not existing. Instead of a “to-do list” why don’t you write a “do not do list” this week. Cut yourself some slack. Get real with yourself and those around you. Too often I observe individuals living in the in the “digital world” but missing out on the “real world” … and by that I don’t mean the contrived one on TV which isn’t all that real.
Put down the pen, leave the desk, turn off the TV. Ignore your iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, Kindle, and Nook. Connect not only with others but with yourself as well. The world will not stop if you ignore the phone, email, twitter, text or chats. If fact, I believe it would be a better place with a little less of all of that.
Be present with yourself and those around you. Be real not digital. Look at your life one day, one experience, one encounter at a time. You’ll likely be much happier. I know I am.
Live your life rather than simply existing. Peace everyone.
Yesterday I was interviewed for a BlogTalk Radio Show by Heather Stagl of Enclaria. During the interview we discuss my own personal Change Revolution, how to start a revolution, courage, fear, and other related topics.
- Do I really care?
- Why do I care?
- How can I have an influence on this?
- What action can I take?
- What outcome am I looking for?
Each day you get a fresh start to decide how you want to approach life and your interactions with those around you. How do you want to behave today?
Is this a failure or a success?
First a shout out of Thanks to Jim Estill and John Wolforth for taking the time to hit the Comment button and share their thoughts on What Might Happen? I Wonder… last month. This pondering continues on with ideas shared in that last post. You can either blame it on John or thank him if you choose – this pondering a result of responding to his comment. It got me thinking about what success looks like.
I believe that success can be a tricky thing. It’s a moving target and always subject to interpretation. I’ve also observed that some of the individuals who I think are wildly successful don’t always feel so successful themselves.
I wonder how often we find ourselves measuring up short - but that is truly only in our own minds. That we focus on the missteps and the could haves, rather than the did haves and wasn’t that great!
Let’s go to my favorite source, yes Wikipedia, for a definition. “Success might mean, but is not limited to:
- a level of social status
- achievement of an objective/goal
- the opposite of failure“
Now let’s look at their definition of failure. “Failure refers to the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success.”
Hum, if we really think about it, we are in control here. We define the level of social status, the objective/goal, as well as what failure looks like. Pretty powerful.
It’s also important to remember that we all define success differently. What does matters isn’t my defintion, but how you personally define success.
Sometimes I think we fall in the trap of focusing on the big SUCCESS and we need to focus more on the little successes that we have all the time. Or that we get ourselves hung up on how others define success and trying to meet their measure of success rather than our own.
I bet if we thought about it hard enough we could find a small success each and every day. I know that this is something that I personally need to do more of – looking for those small, daily successes. We often look at our daily failures, why not look at our daily successes?
For today’s pondering I’d like to ask that you stop and ask yourself the following questions:
- Did I think about a failure today?
- Did I think about a success today?
- What did I think about this last week?
- How do I define success?
- Am I focusing on big SUCCESS?
- What success(es) did I have today?
- What success(es) did I have this last week?
- How might I feel differently if every time I thought of a failure, I stop to also think of a success?
You are the only one that can define success for yourself. You are in the driver’s seat. Sometimes success might be about walking away from an opportunity. Jonathan Field’s recent article Kill It to Build It reminded me of this earlier today. Jonathan had a business idea but decided to “kill it” as it took him off what he viewed as his longer term path.
The comments on his post and reactions were quite interesting. While most were supportive, it was interesting to note the mix of judgmental and non-judgmental. It made me stop to ponder how he felt after reading all the comments. If it made him question himself? I wondered how often we do this to others?
I think of life a both a juggling act and a tightrope walk. We are trying to find that balance between short-term and long-term personal, professional, and family goals. Often at the same time. Additionally we move from one rope to another so maybe we should add in that areal act where we have to also have faith to let go of one bar and trust the other will be there to grab onto. No wonder it’s often hard to feel a sense of achievement!
I think that maybe we need to adjust that success measure and realize that it’s not whether you dropped a ball or two, but rather you kept the other three, five, or seven in the air. Not that you fell off the rope, but rather you climbed back up and got moving again. It’s not that you missed catching the other bar, but rather you had the courage to let go of the first one. Each and every one of these is a success.
Remember, you define both success and failure for yourself. It’s something that I too need to remind myself on a regular basis. I’ve found that there is no tougher judge of what I have done than myself. Maybe it’s time to cut myself some slack or better yet, reframe how I measure success. Will you join me?
May you all be happy, healthy, and find success on whatever path you choose to take in life. Remember, the power is yours.
The Energy Elephant. Do You Bring Positive or Negative Energy?
This morning one of my favorite bloggers, Jonathan Fields, had an interesting story about a creative marking approach. Jonathan’s article made me smile (as it often does) but at the same time left me feeling a bit hollow. The marketing example he shared was funny and seriously creative.
The pitch was to shop while you are bored at work. It even included a “Boss Button”. You press the button if your boss walks buy when you are shopping. Your shopping screen is covered with a page showing ”corporate jargon” and a fake pie-chart. I agree, it was funny. I applaud the creativity.
What bothered me was the root of the humor. The humor wouldn’t have held true if it wasn’t directed at a fundamental underlying problem or experience.
- How people feel at work, their emotional state.
- What they bring to work (i.e. attitude)
- How they are using their time, or rather not using their time (i.e. manifestations of boredom/procrastination).
Here’s a link to Jonathan’s article if you are interested.
Here’s the comment (ok, rant) I left on his site.
At the same time I was laughing, I was also quite sad and feeling a bit depressed. Why, at what the “work world” seems to have come to. The attitude people tend to bring with them to work, and how many spend their day…not working.
Often times it’s not just “the company” at fault when the environment is poor. It’s also what the employees bring or don’t bring to the metaphorical table. Positive energy breeds positive energy, negative breeds negative.
There is a great difference between procrastination and boredom. Much of what appears to be boredom is actually procrastination. It’s not that they don’t have things to do, they don’t want to do them.
Just imagine if everyone kicked in gear, left the attitude at home and wanted to make a difference not matter where they were or what they were doing. That they recognized that they may not be at their optimal job doing what they love best but that a) they were employed, b) were lucky to be employed, and c) could have a positive impact wherever they are.
What they are doing doesn’t have to be forever, but rather than making the worst of it couldn’t they make the most of it for both themselves and their employer. After all, they took part of creating the situation. They accepted the job offer…otherwise they wouldn’t even be there.
Own up and own your experience. Ok, rant over.
My questions for you to ponder today are:
- What attitude do you bring with you to work?
- Are you bringing your A game?
- Do you look for ways to make positive changes or do you wait for others to “fix” problems for you?
- Do you ever reflect on the fact that you are privileged to be employed, yes privileged?
- If you don’t feel priviledged, go read about the state of the world. Don’t just rely on what you see around you.
- If you are employed, you likely have a roof over your head and food on the table. Many people do not.
- What might you accomplish today if you “turned off” the unnecessary social media? I hear complaints (and complain sometimes myself) about the overload of information.
- How much of that is within your control?
- What are you doing to yourself?
If you are unhappy with where you are, I encourage you to remind yourself that it doesn’t need to be forever. Things rarely are, even when we want them to be. In the interim, bring your A game. Make a difference where you are at this moment in time. Just think about how things around you could change if you did. As I said in my rant above, positivity breeds positivity and negativity breeds negativity.
Are you adding positive or negative energy when you are on the job? What can you do to change things for the better? Bring the Attitude of Gratitude on-line and into your life. It makes a difference. Really, it does.
Hum, time to take my own advice and buck up little doggie. I’m thankful for:
- The roof over my head – even if I dislike my too large mortgage that comes with it.
- My mostly healthy family – which is better than seriously unhealthy or passed on.
- The ability to read and to write – many cannot – and I couldn’t write this article without those basic skills. (ok, who snickered out there…thinking maybe it would be better if I didn’t have them)
- The fact that I have those extra lbs. on the hips. After all, they indicate that I have food available to me, unlike many in the world.
I’m also thankful that you found it in your heart to read this entire article. Really, thank you. May we all find ways to move ourselves and others from the negative to the positive side of the equation.
P.S. Tomorrow I’ll work on writing my list without the qualifiers attached. One step at a time, one day at a time. All forward progress, not matter how small, is good.
The Backstory
I have been thinking a lot this past month about the fact that I am a bit out of whack as it relates to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Ok, so how many of you are thinking “what’s that?”
Maslow’s hierarchy is something I learned about back in college. Something that has stuck with me and has demonstrated the power of a good model and/or metaphor. For those unfamiliar with this model, Maslow’s hierarchy falls within the domain of psychology and was first proposed by Abraham Maslow in 1943. He explains this model in his 1954 book on Motivation and Personality.
Now you might be thinking “that’s a very old model – 60 years! - does it really apply today”. While there are those out there that argue with specifics – typically other psychology theoreticians – his model really is very solid overall. If you want to read details of the model and the criticisms, you can find them on wikipedia.
I have personally found Maslow’s hierarchy useful in:
- Understanding where I am
- Understanding where others are
- Understanding where I want to or should focus time and energy
- Identifying what is most needed and how to best help
- Answering the question “are you solving the right problem?”
I’ve observed that some business interventions (and social too) are geared towards higher levels when the people who are in the midst of the change really need help with feeling that the lower levels are stable. Something for you to think about during your next Change Program… How might this affect how you craft Communications?
Maslow’s hierarchy is often seen as a pyramid. The idea being that you are climbing to the top. At the top of the pyramid is this concept of self-actualization.
Self-actualization (in my terms, not necessarily Maslow’s) is when you reach that place of full potential. You are becoming the person you want to be, what you are capable of, and expressing yourself and your beliefs. You are truly living who you are. However, to reach this level, all the other levels must be in place and stable. In order to self-actualize, you must first master the four levels of needs found below: physiological, safety, love, and esteem.
Recently I’ve been feeling like I’m sliding backwards. I also know that I am not alone in that feeling these days. With all the chaos in the world these days - layoffs, business challenges, foreclosures – it can be hard to find time and/or energy to focus on yourself. Where you truly are and who you truly want to be.
I’ve been thinking about the fact that I want to be working on level 5, but that I seem to be living in the chaos of level 2, safety. Safety you say? Well in Maslow’s hierarchy, safety includes the roof over one’s head. I find it hard to write, share, and support others the way I truly want to when faced with the on-going stress of keeping the house over our family’s head. Sound like anyone you might know? Yourself maybe?
The Story
If you have been reading my recent posts you will know that I have been talking (and thinking alot) about Elephants. Today I realized that I have the big, hairy, ugly Elephant sitting on my shoulder with his trunk shoved into my ear repeating these phrases (or something similar):
- “you are not good enough”
- “you can’t keep up”
- “you are letting other people down”
- “who are you to think that you can write those books”
Mighty Mouse as envisioned by Sydney Purvis, age 8 upon hearing this story. ~~~@o:>
Guilt, guilt, guilt. I’m sure you’ve been there, felt that. Anyone saying “been there, done that”?
Ah ha, I went. There’s an Elephant. It’s hitting on my Maslow’s level 4. I can name it. It’s the Insecurity Elephant. I can own it. I can change it.
So I decided to take action. To get out my Mighty Mouse to fight that Elephant. I’m going to own that Elephant and then kick it off my shoulder – metaphorically that is.
So here’s my Mighty Mouse ~~~@:> (who I designed earlier today when emailing a friend). Mighty Mouse, go to work my friend. ~~~@:> SQUEEAAKEEEEE!!!
Whew.
In addition to helping myself mentally, when that metaphorical squeak resounded earlier today I thought hey, something to share. Something to send out to the readers with hope that it helps, even if just a bit. Bonanza, something that I can do related to Maslow’s level 5! So here I am tonight, writing.
Mighty Mouse might be small and often overlooked, but small things can have big impacts. (Just ask the lady who gets a small box with an engagement ring in it) Biggest isn’t always best. Our self-dialog isn’t always helpful. If nothing else I hope that my Mighty Mouse makes you laugh, even if only inside. Laughter truly is good for you…in more ways that we often realize.
I ask you to join me. Let’s take some control back. Maybe it will last for just a day, maybe for a week. But that’s better than before.
So I’m sending out my Mighty Mouse to visit you. When in need call to Mighty Mouse. Feel free to ask Mighty Mouse to help you with any of the Elephant(s) on your shoulder. Don’t be afraid to send them to visit a friend too, Mighty Mouse travels well over email after all.
Here’s a Mighty Mouse for you. ~~~@:> SQUEEAAKEEEEE!!!
I had the wonderful opportunity to talk to Rick Maurer one-on-one this week. He is the pioneer of facilitating the open discussions we can now have about Resistance. During our conversation he shared some of his personal evolution to becoming the Resistance Guru.
Rick not only shared his thinking with me, but allowed me to bounce some of my current thinking off of him. I enjoyed the compare and contrast – the open dialog.
For those of you who don’t know who Rick is, here’s extract from his bio: “Rick Maurer, a renowned change management expert, speaker and bestselling author, educates audiences on how to get results from major change without headaches, cost overruns, and hidden problems…or Change Without Migraines™.” Click here to get to the full bio and web-site.
Rick broke down the way he thinks about resistance and change into four groups:
- Knowing – Do you know what to do
- Doing – Practicing what you need to do
- Hidden Commitments
- Hidden Beliefs/Culture
To my way of thinking, the first two are easy to discuss. Everyone is willing to talk about them. The greater challenge is in the last two.
One of the insightful statements he made was when you understand why people resist, you can understand why they support. Rick used the visual of a person leaning in or leaning out during a conversation about support. Me, I’ve almost always leaned in. I am insatiably curious and have a genuine interest in others as individuals – their thoughts, desires, and goals. I wonder how often we actually talk about what makes people support projects to change themselves or their actions?
I think that there are a myriad of elephants hidden in those last two. What are the underlying beliefs that are causing resistance? Until we can deal with them more overtly, change initiatives will continue to fail at the alarming rate that they do.
As for myself, I’m going to be talking about those elephants. I hope that you will too.
If you aren’t feeling like it or are concerned about doing so, I challenge you to ask yourself where the resistance is coming from. Take a look at the four groups above. See what you might discover about yourself. Good luck!
I see myself, do you? I'm looking at you. Are you looking back?
During Day 1 of the World Business Forum 2010, I had the opportunity to talk with a group of fellow bloggers over lunch. While describing what it is that I do, Carol Roth, said “you’re the Elephant Whisperer.” Wow, I thought. That’s dead on.
While I’m not sure I could have labled myself The Elephant Whisperer ©, Carol nailed what I was all about. I feel that I can and now actively ”own” this label. Here’s a portion a recent article by Carol about our lunch and the power of calling out an issue.
“There are so many times when we have a personal or professional issue and are afraid to address it. But how can you expect to solve a problem if you don’t identify that it exists in the first place?
Putting a name on the monster that is causing small or big issues immediately lessens its impact. Once you name it, the willingness to address the issue allows you to move on, instead of staying stuck in limbo forever.”
Carol is a deal maker, author, business strategist and advisor to corporations, small businesses & aspiring entrepreneurs. She is frank, straightforward and insightful. You have spinach in your teeth? She’ll let you know. She can also make you laugh which is much needed in business these days – at least I think so. Go here to read Carol’s full article.
In my area of practice, Strategic Change, Organizational Change, and Cultural Change, the biggest barrier, I’ve found are the elephants. The cultural norming. The reactions as much if not more so than the actions. All those things that are going on that no one wants to talk about. Just because they aren’t talked about doesn’t mean they aren’t there and are not affecting your business.
Our country (Carol and I live in the US) is at a crossroads. Actually several. If we are to address the changes that are needed – in both business and social arenas we must talk, really talk about the issues. Not just the symptoms, but the underlying issues and root causes. Therein lies the elephant. We don’t want to talk about root causes. Doing so would force us to look to closely at ourselves.
You might consider calling myself The Elephant Whisperer © involves a bit of an elephant itself. If we don’t want to talk about elephants, why would I even want this moniker? Why have I taken this term and owned it mentally and emotionally, going so far as to rename my book? Because I see the elephants and I talk about them. I want to inspire and provoke others to do so too.
I’ve taken the mirror to myself. Studied who and what I am. It’s scary at times, but well worth the end result. My elephant? It’s my directness and candor. It can (and has) made people uncomfortable at times.
I challenge you to face your personal elephant. The one in the mirror. Understand who you are, what you are about, and own it. I believe doing so is a key step to being able to talk about other elephants. Know yourself. Your true motivations and your own elephants.
I applaud Carol and her directness. I could immediately tell that she knew who she was and what she wanted. She has an abundance mentality not a scarcity mentality. She balances sharing openly and honestly with having a solid business background and well defined goals. This girl rocks! I can’t wait till her book comes out next year.
Wondering if I should coin her as the Spinach Talker? Food for thought? (yes, pun intended). The Red Shoe Writer? You’ll understand that one better when you see her book cover (book is due out Q1 2011). Think I should ponder that a bit more, though I must confess The Red Shoe Writer is growing on me…
In the mean time, get the mirror out. Find your own elephants and face them down.
Cheers and good luck both facing and owning your elephants.
Have we crossed the Ethical Crossroad?
For those of you who have followed me for a while, you know that I made the decision earlier this year to not get involved with the Twitter Craze. For the back story on this, you can read To Tweet or Not to Tweet.
This past week I became part of the Twitter Craze as a result of my involvement in the Bloggers Hub at the World Business Forum 2010. My original plan was to focus on writing articles with minimal tweeting. That certainly didn’t go as planned, not at all.
After getting Tweetdeck that morning, I somehow managed to tweet 170 times. Forty during the first speaker alone – well, it was Jim Collins… The next day 190 tweets. Twitter craze, I have arrived. Eh gads, what happened?
- I found that I was mentally engaged by the speakers. Not just thinking about the words they said but implications.
- I noticed that many tweeters in the Bloggers Hub focused on quoting statements.
- While this is quite useful, I wanted to push the conversation further.
- I wanted those following on the Hub to be challenged – to ask themselves questions.
- While I occasionally did include a quote, I focused on interpretations, observations, thoughts, and questions.
I was feeling a bit more hip, involved in social media in a way I wasn’t before. Yea me.
Then during Jack Welch’s talk, I slammed into a wall. An ethical wall. One I had bumped into the week before but hadn’t realized was so pervasive.
During the interview with Jack Welch, I was startled, yes startled when the interviewer asked if he tweeted for himself. What? People are writing under other people’s names? That doesn’t seem right to me.
Here’s the tweet I immediately sent out to the Hub:
- “I struggle with even asking if someone is doing their own tweets. Something seems fundamentally wrong if you are not.”
I am happy to report that Jack does tweet for himself. Go Jack!
On Day 2 I noticed that one of our Hub bloggers was tweeting under another very well known person’s name. Huh? This bothered me. Quite a bit. So those tweets I thought were coming from Famous Person X aren’t written by him? Have we crossed an ethical gray area and why do I seem to be the only one concerned?
There are a number of things to ponder:
- Are we misrepresenting information when a tweet is posted under Person A’s name but was written by Person B?
- How much more influenced are you by an idea when “written” by Famous Person X. What does that tell us?
- Are we more willing to buy into an idea because of who said it than because of content of the idea?
- How many other times and in what other ways does this happen?
- Why does an individual feel the need to have someone else tweet and blog under their name?
- What are the motivators and factors involved?
- What are the risks?
- If we believe that someone is really putting out a significant volume of work by themselves when they really are not, what kinds of incorrect comparisons are we making relative to what they can and do accomplish vs. what we do?
- Might we view ourselves negatively compared to an unrealistic benchmark?
Am I just too naive or idealistic to think this shouldn’t be done? I can understand “brand management”, but at what point does it cross a line?
I personally vote for substance over volume, for not choosing the “popular” name for name’s sake. Yes, there are ghostwriters for books, but in the end, the creative elements and creative content is provided by the author. They participate every step of the way. Can you really claim that content comes from the author named when the post is 140 characters long and the “author” never read it?
It is one thing to blog and tweet as part of a company, as a representative of a company. It’s another to tweet and blog as another person. Yes, it might be “on their behalf” but isn’t it really a mis-representation of the truth? I think so (and so does my spouse who was kind enough to be my reviewer for this blog).
My personal conclusion remains a blend of To Tweet or Not to Tweet and my recent experience I will:
- Tweet for myself.
- Minimize the amount of tweeting and retweeting I do.
- It must have value, not just be noise or be about ”look at me, look at me.”
- Choose time with my family over being constantly on-line and available.
- Continue to question the ethics surrounding the use and mis-uses of social media.
- Continue to elevate this issue. To question the precedent that is currently being set.
- Be clear if someone else is tweeting on behalf of my brand – it will be clear that it is not me, rather the brand.
- Politely say no and explain that why I am uncomfortable if someone asks me to tweet under their name.
It’s not just about this step that concerns me, it’s about the next step and the one after. What line might we cross in the future if we so willingly and easily cross this one? How does this impact copyrighting, creative use, and other legal situations?
It seems like something we should be concerned about. Something to pay attention to and challenge. Ethics are important, really important. We think the truth is out there, but is it really what we think, or has it been mis-represented?
Is this another Elephant in the room? I think that this might just be the On-line Ethics Elephant. I think it should be talked about. Do you?
Are you putting all the pieces of what you learned together? Will you talk about what you see and the Elephants in the room?
The first day of the World Business Forum 2010 is complete. The speakers entertaining and educating.
The questions for me are:
- Was the audience really enlightened?
- Did they truly listen to the messages, not just the words?
- Will they truly take the core messages back to their businesses? To think about what it means to truly lead, not command and control?
While World Business Forum 2010 Day 1 is gone, the content it not? When you do as Collins suggests, stopping one day for every two weeks of booked time (come on, try it), I encourage you to ponder, think, reflect, and visit or revisit the Bloggers Hub. You’ll learn something new, provoke your thinking, and challenge yourself. I promise! I do every time I go back.
Articles related to what was learned, shared, discussed, and reflected on during the World Business Forum are forthcoming over the next weeks and months. My thanks to all the great bloggers, guests, and speakers who challenged my thinking and helped me to continue to drive myself and my thinking forward. Cheers all.
Elephant #1: We don’t truly value stopping to think, to reflect, to ponder.
We tend to value action much more than reflection. Doing over creating. I’d like you to stop and think about that. I’ll talk more about the motivation, drivers, and factors that drive this in a future blog.
I’m willing to talk about the Elephants in the room. The truth of what it takes to change a company, to change a culture, to change yourself. To be the Elephant Whisper. Are you willing to talk with me?
Elephant Whisperer: Strait talk about the Elephants in the Room ©
Book - ebook or hard copy tbd. Look for a series of blogs/articles on this topic in the interim.
Would love to hear back from you about the elephants that you see, how people deal with them (or not), and your personal stories.
